Once Upon A Time

Believing in even the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing.

I started watching this new series Once Upon A Time and it paints the world we live in as a place so terrible that it steals everyone’s happy ending unless you were inside a magic wardrobe that protected you from the curse. Now that got me thinking, what is my desired happy ending?

Is it being an engineer, working from 9am to 5pm to barely make enough for my family and a few extra luxuries in life? I don’t think that’s quite the happy ending that fairy tales paint. Although, that’s what everyone wants us to believe is the happy ending that we deserve. But, why aim so low? It’s aiming so low that makes life mediocre. Having such average dreams means that the most you can get from life is average.

I WANT my happy ending. I don’t want the middle class man happy ending of retiring early and getting my children to college. NO. I WANT a fairy tale happy ending. I want to ride off into the sunset with the princess and travel the world together. I WILL reach that dream. I am one of the select few who got to go inside the magic wardrobe.

And The Prince and Princess Lived Happily Ever After, Travelling the World, Meeting new and interesting people; Experiencing Everything that this World has to offer.

Writing a long post and then deleting it

I just composed a long and eloquent post about love. About how I feel about a girl that I have loved for a few years now. And I deleted it because I didn’t want to nag. But, I’m going away for a few days with my friends and I just want to live a small note saying, I’m always thinking about you. I miss you.

(Too bad though, that deleted post was one of my finer penned works. If I do say so myself. But, sometimes the best words for the occasion are those that should remain unsaid)

My Day in Court

When I was young, I aspired to be a lawyer. Not for the money, not for the fame. Well, ok yeah, partly for those things. But mostly, I wanted to do it because I wanted to stand for justice. I wanted to be like Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men. I wanted to fight for the small, the oppressed, the weak. But, my youth got in the way of that dream. I was already a B.A. Political Science Major in U.P. Diliman at 15 years old. I was on the road to achieving my dream. But sadly, it was not meant to be. My wide eyed juvenile hopes of breezing through college and coming out as one of the countries top lawyers, sadly, doesn’t happen in real life. I was 15 years old. Fending for myself in a campus filled with a sea of people aspiring to reach their dreams too. And I got side tracked. I got discouraged when I didn’t make any friends in my department. I got intimidated by my fast-talking High School valedictorian classmates. I’m not making excuses, I’m just stating the facts. I lost track of who I wanted to be to please the needs of my confused teen-age hormonally imbalanced self. So, that dream has faded. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to go back to that world. I don’t think I had it in me to do 6 more years in that school. I just wasn’t able to adapt. But, sometimes I wonder, what could have been. I’m now an excellent mechanical engineering student and my ego doesn’t doubt that I could contribute a lot to the world as a future mechanical engineering. But, could I have done more good as a lawyer? I honestly don’t know. And I will never get to find out because my day in court will never come.

Just finished watching Mathinik with Dylan. Now watching Sineskwela.

That loving Fe-eling…

The irony with love is (hehe. irony… Fe… chemistry joke. such a nerd. xD). Well anyway, the irony with love is, the more you get to know the person that you admire and the more that you see how great that person is, the more you feel less inclined to love that person. Why? you feel inadequate. You put that person on a very high pedestal that you feel that you don’t deserve to be with that person.

Maybe that’s why when you’re in love you try to emulate that person, you try to be better.  You try to do your best to be someone deserving of even a chance to be considered worthy for that person. So, in that sense, loving is good. Even in its unreciprocated form. Loving makes you a better person. Although, there would be times when that love could get you hurt; when that love makes you vulnerable to being disappointed. During those times, it’s a nice thought to ponder. That even when it hurts, it is still generally good for you.

Love. Love. Love. ;)

That amazing feeling after taking an exam and I know that I got everything right.

And I didn’t even study. haha. Really good day overall, and it’s not even over yet. haha.

Word on the street is…

Nah. Contrary to what the title suggests, this post does not revolve around gossip. Rather, I remembered this idiom when I hear a nugget of wisdom from a man I sat beside on the ride home today. I think it’s an apt title for conversations while on the road.

What he said wasn’t too profound, nor was it deep. But, it affected me deeply.

He said (in tagalog) to his friend, “Men sometimes get too caught up on grand gestures of romance that they forget that relationships are best kindled by enjoying your partner’s company and by making her happy as well.”

It made me realize a few things. Sometimes, I do make conversation just for the sake of conversation. And I try to prove my feelings with fancy gifts and words instead of really trying to make a real connection with her. There are even times when I plan conversations before I meet her just so that I could avoid awkward pauses.

So, I think I can change these bad habits and really try to do this right. I hope it isn’t too late though. Because with the way I’ve been acting these past few years, I could have done irreparable damage by coming of as materialistic, shallow and empty.

Just my two cents.

Mother’s Day

This will certainly go unread because my tumblr is very much under the radar so I might as well pour my heart into it without fear of consequence.

Firstly, I’m not very straight-forward with affections so I can’t voice this out to my mom directly but I love her with all my heart. She is the woman that I care for the most. I would do anything for her happiness and I would do anything in my power to prevent anything that might cause her pain and sadness. That being said, I’m sure that several of the mistakes that I’ve made throughout my short life, from bad decisions and ignorance of youth, have indirectly caused her such sadness that I seek to prevent. And it breaks my heart to have done so, to a person who has showered me with love and affection in every second of everyday. Despite my short-comings, I’m sure that she loves me as strongly as the day that she brought me into this world.

So, I have made it my life’s mission to reciprocate this love and to spread it to every person that I come across. I want every person that I come into contact with to say, “He’s a good man. His mom must be wonderful”. I was raised by two of the most selfless and wonderful people in the world, my mom and my dad, and I would do anything to make them proud.

I would always be here for you mama and papa. I love you very much. Thank you for putting up with me and my siblings and thank you for the sacrifices that you have made for us. I appreciate it very much. I hope that someday that I could be half as awesome a parent and a spouse as you guys. I wish that I could also give my future children a home as lovely and as nurtured as the one that you have provided for us. I know that sometimes we crave for more material possessions but I just want to say that nothing can replace the love that you have given us. Also, you have given me more than a son could ever hope to have.

I love you guys so much. Thank you. Someday, I will show you guys this letter. When I have fully realized my potential and when I can be the son that can make you guys proud.